Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
