just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
