He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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