How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
