Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This baby is an asshole
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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