McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
