were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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