we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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