clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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