tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
