Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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