still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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