forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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