why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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