Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
