I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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