His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
