call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
