so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
