Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
