We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize