It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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