sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize