He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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