He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
