She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
