Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
