sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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