Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
