Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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