i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
