omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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