Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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