Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
