ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
