There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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