I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize