please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Randomize