Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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