Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
