Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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