i permit you to call me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i've created a new STD.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
