So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
