I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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