My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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