miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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