Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize