i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
