the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
