What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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