Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
