just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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