ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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