I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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