I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize