I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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