Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
