I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
