i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
