Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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