We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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