He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
