um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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